i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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