Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
