Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
