Cold hands, warm shart.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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