Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
