Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
