physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
