You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
