No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
