I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
