i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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