He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize