My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
