If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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