Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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