The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Im part way to drunk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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