i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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