I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
