do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
