I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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