What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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