i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize