The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
