I want to stick my p in your. b.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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