OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize