It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
