I just made out with a guy for $7.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
