Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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