I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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