Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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