I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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