Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
