I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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