Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
