I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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