I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
