dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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