Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
