It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
