Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
