He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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