Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
