She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
