Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
