he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
