help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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