piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
