yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just forgot I was standing up.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
