i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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