Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
