Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
