I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
