I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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