Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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