Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
