you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
