is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize