I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
