Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
