Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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